oasisCHURCH

Reforming Christmas

The other night during our Sunday, pre-bedtime, family devotions we were talking about Christmas, and I shared that I would like to pray that everyone in our church and in our own family would be able to see the only true meaning of Christmas this year, and that it would outweigh everything else we do, see, or even participate in.

I know, I know. Every year we say the same thing. But this year I can see a particular interest in my children to discuss this true meaning. So I described to them how Santa Claus, Rudolph, decorations, giving and receiving presents, etc. are all things that have nothing to do with the actual Christian holiday of Christmas. They are all things that have been added to the holiday—many of which as a means to celebrate the joy and anticipation that the holiday symbolizes, but the negative effect they have had on the holiday is that they have almost completely overshadowed the entire purpose for why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.

So I proposed a question to them. I asked, “What if we could have a do-over?” What if we could flip the switch on Christmas as we know it, and introduce a different, and better way to celebrate—one that is full of true joy and gladness, not the silly frivolity and careless gaiety most people settle for. To most people, Christmas is only a “season” of joy, which proves that it is not real joy at all. What do I mean by this? I mean that the supposed “joy” we experience at Christmas comes from things such as: warm memories, tradition, giving and receiving gifts, parties, cookies, decorating homes and trees, singing carols, etc. But what happens to many people when the “season” is over? It is well known that many people experience a depression of sorts after the holidays. In fact, some British scientists even did studies on depression and suicide, and discovered that January may in fact be “the most depressing month of the year.”

Does this happen to you? Is your joy “seasonal”? Is your joy contingent upon external circumstances or events, such as the events surrounding the Christmas holiday? If so, it’s time to look at reforming Christmas.

In John MacArthur’s book The Miracle of Christmas he tells a story of when he was in high school. He and a friend had been invited to a party. When they arrived, it was very dark and slow music was playing. Some couples were dancing, and some were in the corners doing other things, but everyone seemed to be locked in embraces. It wasn’t difficult to see what direction the party was headed. Neither of them really wanted to stay, but they suddenly had a better idea. They didn’t know if it would work, but it was worth a try. His friend looked at him and said, “Let’s change the complexion of this party.”

Next they went to the fuse box and flipped the switch that controlled the stereo. Everyone immediately got upset, but they didn’t exactly know what had happened. Then MacArthur and his friend appeared with an armload of games and led everyone into the living room. Some were so upset that they left, but most stayed. For the rest of the evening all those at the party had a great time playing games, and it turned out to be a great party.

What if we could do the same thing to Christmas? What if we could pull the plug on the world’s party, and introduce an even better way to celebrate? What if we could reform Christmas?

It would have to begin, of course, with realizing the true significance of Jesus’ birth. We would even have to reform all of the man-made, man-centered elements surrounding the nativity story, and ask ourselves, why was he born? If we all could see what Christmas really means, our immediate response would be worship.

Worship is probably the greatest missing element in the monstrosity that Christmas has become. I am not suggesting that there is anything inherently wrong with putting up decorations, giving gifts, spending extra time with our families, having parties and getting together with friends, or many of the other things we do to celebrate the holiday. Those things add to the joy of the season. But they must not—they cannot—provide the joy of the season. Here is where so many fall short. Apart from worship, these things are inadequate responses to the ultimate reality of the Savior’s birth. The first priority in all of our celebrating should be worship, and everything else we do should flow from our hearts of worship.

When this happens, the joy of the Christmas season is everlasting. It does not fade in January. True joy is not seasonal. Happiness, fun, and gaiety are seasonal, temporary emotions. But we are never commanded to seek those. We are commanded, however, to seek JOY in worshiping Jesus Christ as God.

If reforming Christmas means starting all over, then the obvious place to start is worship. But in saying that Christmas should be a time of worship, I am not suggesting that we eliminate everything except worship gatherings from our Christmas traditions and celebrations. I am just saying, let’s start over. And let’s let our worship dominate how we celebrate this holiday.

Let’s worship like the shepherds did in the nativity story. They dropped everything they were doing to attend His birth. There is a sense of urgency and determination in the way they came to Him. Furthermore, they shared the news with everyone around.

We can also worship like the wise men from the east did. They fell down and worshiped Him; and brought gifts and treasures to Him. We sort of do this. We give gifts to others at Christmas. Have you ever thought of giving Christ a gift at Christmas? How might this be done?

Another character in the nativity story, Mary, worshiped with quiet reflection. In the busyness and chaos of the holiday season, do you take time to meditate on Christ? Do you spend a few extra moments with your Bible open, allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to pour into your mind and heart as you soak in His Word?

The bottom line is that Christmas, like no other season in the calendar year, ought to overwhelm our hearts with gratitude and adoration. If that is not happening, then you are missing the whole point of Christmas. And truth be told, you should stop celebrating it altogether, flip the switch. Do something different, something that would bring out the worshiper in you; because that is exactly why you were created—to worship. And that is why Jesus came to earth and was born as a human baby boy—to reconcile us to God as the kind of worshipers He created us to be.

Without Jesus, we are worshiping something else. That is why Christmas has the potential to be nothing but massive idol-worship. Because if Jesus Christ—his birth, his life, his death, his resurrection, and his great commission for all to believe, be baptized, and taught to obey him—is not the central focus of everything that involves Christmas, then what are we worshiping? What are we celebrating? The definition of idol worship is anything in our lives that takes the place of the glory of God. The essence of evil and sin is to not attribute the worth, honor, and glory that God deserves to Him—essentially, robbing Him of His rightful glory. So we must ask ourselves of our Christmas celebrations, is there anything that takes the place of the glory of God? Do we bring Him gifts? Or do we rob Him?

This is a gut-check for all of us. Myself included. In our home we are praying about and discussing ways we can change the complexion of this holiday for our family. Why don’t we use the comment section to brainstorm ways we can all do this. What is your family doing?

Thankful for My Wife

I don't say it enough. That's why I really love this week. Each year it seems to remind me of so many things that I take for granted without saying "Thank you." And this morning I am just filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward the woman God so graciously gave to me over 13 years ago. April is the most unselfish, selfless woman I have ever met. She literally buys nothing for herself. Ever. It is a common cultural joke that a lot of guys make about their wives going shopping, spending money, etc. But mine is just the opposite. I have to practically make her purchase something for herself that is not a necessity. She has truly been my greatest human example of seeing Christ's nature: "considering others more significant than yourself," and "looking to not only your own interests, but to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4). That is a picture of my wife.

I'll use this week as an example. Last night after she made our dinner, took Kaylee to gymnastics, and put the kids to bed, she then went to the store and purchased bags and bags of food to cook. So, big deal, you may be thinking. It's Thanksgiving week, lots of wives are doing that. I know. And I am not trying to diminish others by complimenting my own. My point, however, is this. The bags of food she brought home last night were not for us. For the next three hours she cooked and prepared an entire meal for other families, one of which we will deliver this evening on our way to our Oasis house church party.

Two nights ago I walked into the kitchen after the kids had been put to bed, and I saw her at the table pouring over the Scriptures. I figured she was just getting a head start on her Sunday children's lesson, because she normally does her personal reading before she goes to sleep (like me). But she was not only reading, she was writing frantically as well. I kissed her and told her I would be upstairs doing some reading. About an hour later she came up and asked me to proofread a Christmas musical she had just written, some of which she is planning to teach to our kids at Oasis. Sometimes she gets these creative urges and just sits down and writes entire volumes of lessons or curricula. Amazing!

This is the woman God has given me. The Bible says that "a man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Well, God has certainly found favor with me and He has treated me as good as He could have possibly treated me by giving me April.

I love you, April. You are the most beautiful person in this world to me.

Father of the Century

In fathering my children I always try to make a conscious effort to be like Christ, but if I should happen to fall short of that goal, I want to be like Dick Hoyt. This is one of the most amazing stories I have read in a long, long time. Be sure to read the article below the video, then click on the video to watch a very emotional and inspiring illustration.

Article by Rick Reilly, Sports Illustrated columnist

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars — all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much — except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."

"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 — only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

"The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."

My Daughter is an Ambassador for Truth

Today as I was making lunch for Kaylee, my 5-year old daughter, I was singing a little ditty from the Willy Wonka play (yes, they are still in my head). I was singing, "Who can make the sunrise..... the Candyman can..."

It wasn't long before she interrupted me and said, "Dad, that's not true. You should sing it like this: Who can make the sunrise..... the Candyman can't, but JESUS can!"

I know, now you'll have the song in your head all day after reading this, but at least the lyrics will be more accurate. : )

If you say that you love me

I just came down stairs from tucking my kids into their beds. We had a very good Bible Study this evening. It actually began with an unfortunate tone... with discipline. They were both having a difficult time obeying the words of their mother this evening. Look at me. I make that sound as though it's some kind of disorder... "they were having a difficult time...". The truth is, they were choosing to disobey. Call it what it is, right.

Anyway, after some redirection from their father they finally made it in and out of the shower, and into their beds. Before reading the passage from 1 John tonight I took them on a little reminder of what 1 John has been saying up to this point, and how it related to our evening. And a beautiful thing happened. They got it! They put it together. They applied the scipture to their lives. My seven year old and four year practiced hermeneutics this evening.

We took this journey of questions...

"Who am I?"
"You're our Daddy."
"Good. Who are you?"
"We are your children."
"That's correct. Next question. Do I love you?"
"Yes, we know that you love us, Daddy."
"Very good. Do you love me?"
(nearly in tears) "Yes. We love you and Mommy."
"Okay, now that we understand all of that, I have just one more question. If you know that I am your Dad and you are my kids, and you know that I love you and you love me, then what should you do?"
"Listen, and obey."
"Yes. Listen and obey. The proof that you really do love your Mommy and me is that you obey what we tell you to do."

And I went on to remind them that our family rules are really very simple and not burdonsome. We want them to (1) obey their Mom and Dad, and (2) have fun. Having fun, enjoying one another is the ultimate rule. That's actually Number ONE. But "having fun" cannot happen unless "obedience" is taking place. The moment there is disobedience there is also an absence of fun. And they found that out this evening. They understood it because it came to life for them.

I reminded them that God's rules for us are exactly the same. He wants to enjoy us, and He wants us to enjoy Him. But if He has to spend most of the time doing discipline then our lives with Him become no fun.

He is our God, and we are His kids. If we really know that He loves us, and we love Him... well, then obedience should be no problem for us. Because we ultimately trust that everything He wishes for us is GOOD and promotes life and enjoyment of our lives with Him. If we really know that, then obedience is not a problem.

Obedience is not just something you do to prove that you love your Father. Obedience is the natural result of that love. If there is no obedience, then there is no love. If obedience has to be forced or seems like a duty or obligation... then you have to wonder if the same action is true for love. Is your love also forced? A duty, or obligation to fulfill?

As I prayed with my son and daughter this evening I could sense the presence of the Holy Spirit confirming our study and discussion. It was as powerful as any church service I have ever been in or any sermon I have ever preached. I knew they were growing closer to Jesus. And so was I.

Cincinnati Photos

We are without a doubt a "baseball family". Each year my birthday falls on or near the last home game of the season (regardless of where we've lived... the Cardinals in St. Louis, or the Reds in Ohio). Ever since my son Brock was born in the middle of the great single-season homerun chase between McGwire and Sosa in 1998, we have been taking him... or he has been taking me... we've been taking each other... to a baseball game for our birthdays. It's a nice tradition. Here's a few thumbnails from our day.

Mother and daughter also enjoy baseball games just as much as father and son.

::

::

In my opinion there is no better "Father/Son" activity than being at the ballpark. Some guys like fishing, others like hunting, but we are a baseball family through and through.

::

Of course we always have to do the "speed-pitch" whenever we get a chance. Kaylee showed up several of the boys by throwing a couple of strikes and a top speed of 25 MPH.

::

Pitching has become one of Brock's favorite things to do. He practices in the back yard nearly every day. Today he threw several strikes to the simulated catcher in the speed-pitch. He also topped out at 38 MPH. Not bad for 7 years old.

::

Even old Dad tossed a few off the mound today. Not quite the same at (nearly) 33 years of age. Topped out at 78 MPH (but did so without throwing my arm out at least!). I feel like I could probably still hit the low to mid 80's if I had a proper bullpen warmup. Gotta stay loose for those high school BP sessions. LOL.

::

Kaylee got to play some outfield for the Reds today.

::

::

::

::

The Masters of the Dugout.

::

::

Kearns grounding out to third in the bottom of the ninth.

::

::

Phillies closer Billy Wagner throwing 98 MPH heat.

::

::

Jason LaRue striking out on high heat from Wagner to end the Red's 2005 home season (we included this one for Aunt Stefani).

September 13, 1998

Seven years ago today I was sitting in DePaul Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri holding my firstborn son in my arms. We had gone to the hospital around 7:00AM on September 12, and around 20 hours later we were holding our new baby boy.

Of course, now at seven, he'd be embarrassed to read that I am referring to him as our "baby boy". He's definately all boy... and growing like crazy. He has no idea how many things he has taught me in his seven years of existence. Actually, he has been the conduit through which God has given me some very touching lessons.

Something weird happens to a man when he has a son. You change. You feel things you never felt before. You become acutely aware of your relationship to God the Father everytime something of significance happens with your own son. I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard the Holy Spirit whisper these words to me, "He reminds me of you." It all began when Brock was one-year old. He was crying and I couldn't help him. Everything I gave him wasn't good enough. It didn't satisfy him. So I just held him. I remember standing in his room beside his crib and holding him close to my chest. Finally, he stopped crying and just looked straight up at me. It must have been the way the streetlights were shining through his window or something, because when I looked at him I could literally see my whole face reflected in his eyes. In a moment, without words or anything, I was completely overwhelmed with love. And in that same moment God whispered these words in my heart, "That's what I see when I look at you. I see Me in your eyes."

I remember my first response to that thought was... "But I am so unfaithful to you. I whine and complain, and am never satisfied with what you do for me and with what you give me." And just one more glance down into my son's eyes reminded me, "But it doesn't change how I feel about you."

Still, seven years later, I have difficulty holding back tears whenever I kneel down beside his bed to pray, and kiss him on the forehead while he is sleeping. I can't explain it. You would think that all this mushy feely stuff would be unmanly and "un-macho". But I have come to understand that it's actually just the opposite. There is no better picture of a real man than one who is on his knees, with love-filled tears in his eyes as he prays for his son to grow into a strong, God-fearing man himself.

++++ Thank you, God, for entrusting April and me with Brock. I hope we will be faithful to helping Him fulfill the plans You have for him. ++++

Happy Birthday, Son. I love you.

Biblical Manhood, Part One

It's a bit of a rainy morning, and I'm spending a few minutes inside, so I thought I would post some of the material I have been working on over the past few weeks. Last weekend I taught a workshop at a College student retreat called Deeper Life. My topic was "Biblical Manhood" AKA "Being A Godly Man."

This has become a subject of great interest for me. Perhaps it is because I see a decline in manliness. I don't mean machismo... but manliness. I look around the world and cultures, and even in the church there seems to be a common thread of unmanly, unmen. Today's men have had their masculinity removed and have been told its' something they must apologize for. Psychology has taught us that a man who has discovered his "feminine side" is caring and sharing, but our "masculine side" is aggressive, domineering, and territorial. We have been conditioned to see masculinity in a negative light. And I submit that it is all reactionary.

Whenever you discover a new problem in culture, usually all you have to do is go back a few years and you find the reason why the new problem has developed. Everything we experience in culture is a reaction from the previous culture. For instance, there was a day when men's and women's roles were clearly defined and distinct. You only need to go back about 50 years to find this truth.

Males had a particular role in society, while females had another. We lived with the false idea that a man should come home from work with a pregnant, barefoot wife working in the kitchen for his every need and desire. A male was seen as strong, the leaders, the providers... and the world was really seen as a man’s world.

Even if things appeared to be in order, great problems lived underneath. Men were often chauvinists; they used their power to look at women like second-class citizens. For example, American women were below the male only being allowed to vote in 1920, which passed Congress by one vote. For centuries, Anglo-American common law granted the husband the right as head of the household to beat his wife as long as he did not cause permanent damage. Domestic violence perpetrated by males accounts for more adult female emergency room visits than traffic accidents, muggings, and rape combined, and according to the U.S. surgeon general it is the greatest single cause of injury to American women. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that 30% of women who are murdered, are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.

These days are often looked upon with great nostalgia. But let me say with great assurance, we do not want to return to these past sins. We must learn from the errors our fathers and grandfathers made. It was these chauvinistic lazy sins of men that caused a great movement by women to rebel against the failure of men.

It was during the late 1960’s that the rebellion really started advancing mainstream. Women nationwide had become sick of men being in power, telling women how to live. Feminist organizations were founded to change society’s structures so that sexual distinctions might be minimized or overcome. At first feminists protested the Miss America pageant; they threw their dishcloths, girdles, false eyelashes, bras, and copies of Vogue, and the Ladies Home Journal into a “Freedom Trash Can”.

It wasn't until the 1970's that these ideas began to gain steam. Women realized that the change had to come from a position of power. To challenge this, feminists developed a woman-centered analysis of all culture. Every facet of human experience had to be challenged and redefined.

Language: Feminists maintained that a bias favoring males was present in language. Gender neutrality was brought forth.  “Stewardess” became “flight attendant”; no longer could you speak of mankind; even in marriage women began to keep their own last names.

Motherhood: Each individual woman must have the right to determine when, where, and how to become a mother. If she had an unwanted pregnancy, she must have the right to abort her child. Abortion numbers rose dramatically. If she chose to have a child, it was to be cared for by society as a whole so that the responsibility would not restrict her in any way. Daycares sprung up across the country.

Sexual Relationships: Following the sexual revolution of the 60s, feminists agreed that women should be free to have sex with whomever they wanted. However, up until this point, the matter of sexual relationships between women was not discussed in public. In the early 70s, a woman's choice of sexual partners became more than a personal choice; it became a political statement. This led to the rise of lesbianism and promiscuity.

As these changes became reality, a whole new generation of children were reared under these ideas, Women changed. Also, the next generatikon of men were changing.

You see what I mean by "reactionary". The culture we now understand and are forced to accept is a reaction of the bad things from the previous culture. In my pursuit of Godliness, and Biblical Manhood, I want to seek and find what God's original plan for man and woman was. And once we find that, pray for His strength and wisdom to live that out in today's warped world.

More to come on this subject. I have lots and lots of notes. I just wanted to give a little teaser right now. In the Fall of 2005 I plan to host a class for the men of Oasis and anyone else who wants to attend. Our goal will be this search and discovery I mentioned above.

Friendship

Brock and Brody really hit it off this weekend. Brody is Louie and Robyn Weber's son, and they were all visiting from Saturday to yesterday evening. Last night Louie and I went out for one more round of drinks and conversation, and I took the kids and April down to their hotel to say goodbye. Apparently later when April was putting Brock to bed his lip began to quiver. She asked him what was wrong, but he just shook his head. Then his eyes filled with tears and he began to sniff. She said, "Brock, what are you feeling right now?" He began an all out cry and said, "I really like Brody and Jazzy." He was sad they were leaving. She hugged him and prayed for his broken heart.

I've seen this in my son on two different occasions now. He develops friendship so quickly and so easily with other boys, and when it can only be a temporary thing, like on vacation or a weekend visit... his heart hurts when it's time to say goodbye. Last night when I returned from uptown I saw laying on the countertop two letters, one to Brody and one to Jazzy. They both said the same thing, "Dear Brody (Jazzy), I am going to miss you. I love you. Brock."

Friendship... kinship... the bond of Jesus... is a beautiful thing. I understand how they felt. I teared up a little after embracing Louie as well. It happens to me every time I say goodbye to Jamie Lankford in St. Louis. That's why I believe the reconciliation work Jesus did on the cross was not ONLY for us and the Father... but also for us and each other. When we understand the love of Jesus, and what he did on the cross, we can truly understand reconciliation in the deepest sense. Friendship in the deepest sense. People are meant to be together forever... with their God. In one community. We will be someday.

"BE the Church" (some "balancing" thoughts as summertime approaches)

A few months ago I was pondering these issues of "living life, being involved in the world, while also being part of a church community". I posted the following thoughts on a web site called Allelon.org. Hopefully they will be helpful to you as you plan for the summer and desire to be in fellowship with Oasis.

When I was a child growing up I saw kids on my ball teams whose parents did not allow them to participate with the team on Wednesday nights because that was "church night." I always felt bad for those kids, feeling that if you make a commitment to something you should be able to do it all the way, not just "when you can" or "when you want to." But then again, hadn't they made a commitment FIRST to their church? So then, perhaps they shouldn't play sports at all........ no that doesn't seem right... does it??? I guess it depends on how we view commitment to "church". Is it church meetings? Or is it something else?

See the struggle? In house church/simple church settings, during the summertime your meetings and gatherings can get pretty sparse for lack of people. And it's not because these people are "falling away" or any of that nonsense... it's just that they are choosing to participate in the community at large. And I WANT people to coach ball teams, and have their kids play on teams, and do gymnastics, and go to band camps, and help in community events, etc. But I also do not want our house church hosts and leaders to become discouraged because it appears their fellowship is dying.

This is the dilemma I have found myself in... even personally. I coach baseball. I have always coached baseball since the day I stopped playing. It is a needed recreational activity for my personal well-being, and a great opportunity for me to interact in a number of young people's lives and fellow coaches in very positive ways. The conversations I have had in dugouts between games or on the bus have often had the feel of a house church meeting in and of themselves. However, often coaching baseball takes me away from some of those summer meetings that I usually attend on a regular basis.

These "extra-curricular" things are important parts of our lives. But as we know, fellowship and regular edification of the body is vital to our lives as well. So the practical question is… how do we make both work? I have focused this writing as a discussion on “summertime church issues” because I have found this to be more prevalent in the summertime. How do we encourage and continue to participate in the communities in which we live while also keeping the fellowship and the encouragement we get from one another, for instance, in our house church meetings (most of our house churches meet on weeknights, which is typically when we find the most conflict with community events)?

Maybe it’s by focusing more on “doing the Word” during the summer months, and perhaps our "meetings" during those months should consist more of helping/serving in a variety of ways. Or perhaps a few planned fellowship parties, and some "intentionally spontaneous" weekly cook-outs?

I believe that perhaps the best, and most biblically accurate way to view the local church is as a "family"! In my experience most nuclear families have this SAME problem over the summer. The normal routine is tossed out the window because of all the activity of summer. How does a family respond to this? One example I can think of is they are open to seize an opportunity when everyone is together. They look around and see everyone home for an afternoon at the same time and say hey “let’s get together, eat, and catch up!” I also think you have to become deliberate about getting together. So there definitely must be balance, and flexibility alike.

Staying with the family metaphor... in a family, how is "commitment" defined? Is your commitment to your family dependant upon how many dinners you sit down and have with them? Are your priorities out of place because you are not making every effort to be at those "scheduled" times together? Of course not. Those are important times, and you should make every effort to have those as often as possible, but just because your schedule may not allow you to be at the dinner table every meal with them does not show you lack commitment or giving priority to your family.

Family is defined by flexibility... not rigidity. If I tell my son that he cannot play baseball this summer because he will have games scheduled on church meeting nights (which he most likely will), what am I telling my son? Is God, our church family, and our relationship with God and our church family a priority over baseball, or gymnastics, band, etc? Of course. But what does it mean that God is a priority over these things? Does it mean that we cannot be, or should not be involved in these "extra-curricular" things if the schedules will potentially conflict with our meetings? We have to remember, church is family... not meetings. My family is defined by who we are and what we do WHEN we are together. It is NOT defined by simply getting together or the number of times we get together. Does that make sense?

Some people are going to weigh in differently on this, and so I feel that part of my role is to help us all understand there is room for differences of opinion. For instance, there will always be people in the church who get involved in a lot of "extra-curricular" activities that may cause them to be away from church meetings now and then. To say they have not made their church involvement a priority would not be fair. Their commitment to Jesus and to the church should not be measured by whether or not they attend church meetings. But on the other side of that coin... those people will need to be deliberate about creating other opportunities in their schedules for fellowship.

There is a dangerous pattern that has the potential to rear it's ugly head if we are not careful. In many church institutions there is this concept that you are not a committed member unless you come to all the events and programs. But as you have heard me say before, my desire it to stop "going" to church, and instead BE the church. In the "simple" church model I found a "structure" that lent itself to that understanding of who we are as the church. However, even with the "simple" church or "house church" we can still be in danger of falling into those same old patterns.

Likewise, there will also always be people who DO define their commitment by being at all the meetings, etc. They do feel it necessary to make it top priority to not miss a single one, and will choose to get involved or not get involved in other, extra-curricular things based upon when the meetings are. And those people must also be encouraged in their zeal and passion for the church, while at the same time reminded that others are not "less committed" than they are.

Earlier I referred to family "routines"... and how at certain times, like summertime, the normal routine is usually set aside for a while. The church also has a set of routines, but it seems that the church tends to grab a hold of those routines with a much stronger grip than nuclear families do. I guess the key is to figure out how to set aside some of the normal routines without losing or backtracking in our relationships and fellowship life.

If each one of us can find that balance, then I believe we will find what truly is ABUNDANT LIFE. God has given us everything for our enjoyment. He wants us to constantly be about HIS mission in this world... while enjoying the life he has given us. My desire is to encourage you in this. To be an example of this very thing for you. I hope you see me as one who enjoys life, who has a passion for the Gospel, and for empowering people to serve in this great commission of Jesus. I may do this through preaching, teaching, serving my church family, serving my nuclear family, or serving in the community at large.

This has been a lengthy article. I hope you are challenged, stretched, and encouraged by it. Find freedom in it! Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. Liberty to LIVE and LOVE your community. If nothing else, take it as an exhortation to do just that.