oasisCHURCH

::. BASIC TRAINING for Men .::

A Note To Serious Men
What do I mean by "serious"? I mean if you are not serious about... (a) Who you are as a man, or (b) Who you are as a husband (or if you are single, who you are preparing yourself for), or (c) Who you are as a father, or (d) Who you can be and what you can accomplish... if you are not serious about these things, then Basic Training is not for you. But if you ARE serious about these things, then you will really benefit from joining several other guys in discussion about them. We will look at our perspectives on these issues in the light of God's Word. Comparing our understanding of manhood and masculinity with God's definition as seen in His Word.

The meetings are once a month. The first one is this Sunday, 6:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. at Jim Durst's house. The first hour will consist of a hard-core discussion led by Chris (myself). The second hour will consist of doing things men enjoy, as an opportunity to carry over the conversation from the first hour. For instance, as they sit down and play some poker or euchre, a couple of guys might have a question about the teaching, so they toss it around. Or maybe a few guys relate some of their life-stories over a cold brew (or hot coffee, whatever your choice). Or maybe a couple of guys plan a couple of events with their sons while catching the end of ESPN's Sportscenter.

The goal is this. To create an environment to allow men to be men. Yes, men are a diverse bunch, but we'll find ways to get along. We all have some common general characteristics, many of which are often overshadowed by the general atmosphere church portrays. But even more than having a comfortable place to gather and be themselves, the goal is to lead men to a better understanding of biblical manhood, and to help each other live out the principles that God defines.

A Note To Wives
Urge your husband to come to this thing. Hook him up with other guys to carpool to the meeting. Buy him a bag of his favorite chips and a six-pack of his favorite beverage and send him out to Jim's. Once he's there he won't regret it. And YOU certainly will not regret it. This will only help propel your marriage into a positive direction. If it's already headed in a positive direction, this will just make it better. If you don't like the direction it's heading, then this will certainly help your man understand, and hopefully take responsibility in making it better.

Contact me if you have any questions. I am looking forward to this week!

The Presence

Have you ever looked in the eyes of a mother while she watches the life of her child slip away in painful breaths right in front of her? Have you ever watched a mother hold her child as he takes his final dying breath? Have you ever been lost in a vitally authentic moment that was so surreal that you expected to wake up at any moment? I honestly can’t tell you why I’m writing this right now. I only know that the thought has been on my mind all day and for whatever reason God is convicting me to type these words. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say but I’m going to just keep typing.

I had just fallen asleep when Jamitha’s brother came through her bedroom door to hand me the phone. It was my brother. I knew almost instantly what the content of this call would be. My uncle Paul, my mother’s baby brother, was diagnosed with cancer not long ago. This cancer swept down on him hard and fast. Last night was the end of the road and we all knew it. That’s why I wasn’t surprised when my brother called me. I knew it would be bad and I was right. My brother said, “Bud, I need to you to get Memes (that’s what we call our grandmother). Uncle Paul doesn’t have much time left. You have to hurry.” I hung up the phone and hoped into my car with Jamitha in shotgun. We fired up 124 towards Dexter to my grandmother’s quiet country house. No matter how fast I rounded each turn my mind felt like it was trapped in a slow motion groove. Time to think always seems like the worst thing whenever you know that impending tragedy is merely hours away. When we arrived at my grandmother’s home the windows of the living room were lit in a sad light. Is that even possible? I strode quickly from my car to her front door. Many times I have passed over this very threshold. Behind the door was always a small, warm, and inviting living room. Many family events have taken place here. So many tender memories right behind this very door. Yet I know that tonight will be different. I hear my grandmother inside shuffling through the worn and creak ridden living room floor towards the front door. When she opened the door she looked so small and fragile. It was unnerving. She moved as though there were great peril in every step. The once inviting walls of the beloved room were suddenly adorned with a sick agony that spoke in the dark. When my grandmother turned out the single light that was illuminating the living room it seemed like the very life went out of this always vibrant home. Reality beckoned us all and together we walked slowly towards it. The sound of closing car doors seemed to mock us in spite of ourselves. The trepidation of uncertain conversation hung heavy on the car ride out of Dexter. During an extended silence my grandmother spoke out dimly, “I don’t want to give up my baby.” And there it was. That awful feeling in your chest when you finally realize that the events of an evening have gone beyond your control and no matter what there will be sharp pain to be dealt with before the night is through.

My brother meets us in Rutland to take grandma the rest of the way into town. Jamitha and I follow close behind in our car. Why we exchanged grandma into a different vehicle I’m not sure but then again, few things make sense at times like these. We hurriedly steer ourselves to my Uncle Charlie’s where Paul’s life is quickly fading. Inside there is a tangle of family all of which are wearing contorted faces of worry. I wait before I go in to see Paul. When I finally do make my way into his tiny room I’m ambushed by how small he has become. He weighs maybe 80 pounds at the most. His chest is sunken in as are his eyes. His arms and legs merely look like bone with the very scantest bit of flesh covering them. His eyes stare aimlessly off into space and his breathing is tremendously labored. Every time he breathes the muscles in his neck strain with the effort. His chest rises and falls in a very unrhythmic fashion. Every breath looks like it could be his last. He cannot speak. I sit beside him and begin to run my thumb and fingertips over his virtually non-existent forearm. I wonder if he feels me or any of us for that matter. Across from me my grandmother sits. In her eyes you can see an intense struggle within. She knows there is nothing she can do but wait and it’s killing her at her very root. Her bottom lip quivers uncontrollably. As I look at her I feel my heart tearing at the seams as my memory recalls her voice, “I don’t want to give up my baby.” Still she sits both silent and deeply troubled. Different family come in and out of the room. At one point my mother comes in and stands behind me with both of her hands planted weakly but lovingly on my shoulder. She asks me to sing Jesus Loves Me to Paul and it’s all I can do to make it through it. The reality grows frighteningly more real with every passing second. Suddenly I hear God say to me, “It won’t be long now.”

Everybody takes their turns going in and out of the room while others go outside to get some fresh air. The time seems to crawl endlessly by. My Uncle Richard shows up and then the last leg of the night begins. Perhaps a half hour an hour after Richard arrives Paul’s breathing slows down to almost nothing. Everyone gathers in the room with Paul. Then we watch. His chest falls more slowly each time. Breaths become further and further apart. For a moment it looks like his breathing has stopped but then his chest rises up one more time. My grandmother can no longer take it. She rises from her chair to hold her dying son in her arms one last time. We all watch in bewilderment because we all realize that this is it. This is the moment that we’ve been waiting for but were silently hoping would never come. Right before this happened my mother had leaned over and told Paul, “It’s all right honey. We love you so much. You just do what you’ve got to do. We’re all here and you’ll always be with us in our hearts. You can let go.” And he was. In his last moments it looked like he was mouthing the word goodbye but I can’t be sure. When my grandmother pulls away from him his eyes appear like glass and no part of him appears to be moving. There is a moment of intense apprehension while the nurse leans over with her stethoscope to check for a heartbeat. She doesn’t say anything right away but the next thing she did told us all we needed to know. She reached up and removed the oxygen tubes from his face. It was then that we all knew it was over. The tears welled up in the room and the current of emotion that swept over all present was staggering.

Slowly each person says their last goodbyes and they leave the room to seek solace in some happier corner of the house but there is none. Not tonight. The nurse cleans Paul up and we all wait for the funeral director to arrive to take out Paul’s body. In this case the funeral director happens to be Jamitha’s uncle Jim. Eventually Jim and I carry Paul’s lifeless body from the room and place him gently on a hospital cot. I help Jim load the cot into the back of his van. From there I go home to a night of troubled sleep.

I just asked myself, “Why did you just say all that Chad?” I said all of that so I could say this: Earlier that evening my grandmother and I sat in the room with Paul. My Aunt Karen stood over my grandmothers left shoulder and comforted her as much as could be done. Out of nowhere my grandmother suddenly says, “I didn’t think I could do this but God has given me His grace.” It took every bit of restraint I had in my body to not come emotionally unglued. Here sits this mother watching her son die and what does she say? She praises God for His grace to allow her to sit there with her son while he is in the state of his final moments. She praised God as her son died. She praised God not because her son was dying but because God had found favor with her and given her the strength to be there with him. What faith! In that moment I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit touch my heart. I was moved by the power of the Holy Spirit. It truly is glorious the way that God loves us. He gives and takes away but regardless of that His name is worthy to be praised. As the song we sing says, “Though there’s pain in the offering blessed be Your name.” 

Cincinnati Photos

We are without a doubt a "baseball family". Each year my birthday falls on or near the last home game of the season (regardless of where we've lived... the Cardinals in St. Louis, or the Reds in Ohio). Ever since my son Brock was born in the middle of the great single-season homerun chase between McGwire and Sosa in 1998, we have been taking him... or he has been taking me... we've been taking each other... to a baseball game for our birthdays. It's a nice tradition. Here's a few thumbnails from our day.

Mother and daughter also enjoy baseball games just as much as father and son.

::

::

In my opinion there is no better "Father/Son" activity than being at the ballpark. Some guys like fishing, others like hunting, but we are a baseball family through and through.

::

Of course we always have to do the "speed-pitch" whenever we get a chance. Kaylee showed up several of the boys by throwing a couple of strikes and a top speed of 25 MPH.

::

Pitching has become one of Brock's favorite things to do. He practices in the back yard nearly every day. Today he threw several strikes to the simulated catcher in the speed-pitch. He also topped out at 38 MPH. Not bad for 7 years old.

::

Even old Dad tossed a few off the mound today. Not quite the same at (nearly) 33 years of age. Topped out at 78 MPH (but did so without throwing my arm out at least!). I feel like I could probably still hit the low to mid 80's if I had a proper bullpen warmup. Gotta stay loose for those high school BP sessions. LOL.

::

Kaylee got to play some outfield for the Reds today.

::

::

::

::

The Masters of the Dugout.

::

::

Kearns grounding out to third in the bottom of the ninth.

::

::

Phillies closer Billy Wagner throwing 98 MPH heat.

::

::

Jason LaRue striking out on high heat from Wagner to end the Red's 2005 home season (we included this one for Aunt Stefani).

Ladies Please Give Me Your Thoughts On This

((((Guys, you can too. But you'll see why I specifically asked for the ladies as you read further. It's a long one, so you'd better make some time for this.))))

There are many positive things about having a "web presence" for ministry. One of the things I like to do is visit blogs of other people who are doing ministry similar to Oasis, read their stories, and listen to their teachings if they have them uploaded in MP3 format. The same thing happens with our web site. Every so often I'll receive an email from someone who browsed our site and found a post to be encouraging, or offensive. It goes both ways.

This past week I received an email from a lady who I do not know. She had come to the site and listened to the MP3 teaching entitled Women As Wives. The teaching was part of our Proverbs series we studied during the summer of 2004. She was very offended by the teaching, and wanted to confront me on it. This launched us into a series of emails back and forth over last 24-hour period.

I want to post this conversation here for a couple of reasons. One, I believe it was a very stimulating discussion. And any opportunity you have to stimulate new thought helps develop your theology and perhaps even your faith. Second, this was sort of a frustrating conversation for me. It hit me differently than some others I have had via email with complete strangers. It wasn't because she was disagreeing with me. That has happened before. But there was something about this one that made it particularly disheartening. See if you can see what I mean.

Although no one in the Oasis family knows this lady (even all I have is only a first name), still, I will change her name in this post so as to protect her anonymity even further. Here is how the conversation began, then progressed:

Hello Chris,

I just wanted to say I was shocked after listening to the online Mp3 preaching Women As Wives . It unfortunately sounded like a sermon spoken by a Christian misogynist. And no I'm not a feminist - I am an Evangelical Christian!!

Blessings,

Karen

Karen,

Perhaps you should listen to the rest of that series, the first three sermons -- the ones about covenant and headship, and men as fathers -- where I raked men over the coals and let them (us) have it for our failures towards women... blaming ourselves for the feminist movement because of our failures to love them as Jesus does. I would also be glad to put you in contact with my wife, or any of the women in our fellowship if you would like to try and confirm that I am a "misogynist". You would find that your assessment couldn't be further from the truth of my character and convictions.

Maybe if you elaborate a little further on what you disagreed with about the teaching we could then have a better conversation. It's a little difficult to receive a three-sentence email from a complete stranger who accuses you of hating women and be able to respond to it intelligently.

You took the time to sit down and email me, so you must desire to debate this with me, am I correct?

Chris

Chris,

What would be the point of having a debate with you if, as you said in your sermon, a woman cannot win an arguement with a man??

Karen

Karen,

You do not know me. You have taken a teaching (that is Part 4 of a 4-part series on biblical marriage relationships) out of context, and are now using quotes from that sermon out of context. It's been a while since I gave that teaching so I cannot quote myself exactly. However, if I used the words "you cannot win an argument" I would have been speaking to BOTH men and women. I do recall mentioning that whenever men and women are forced into a position of competition against one another (in a relationship), the masculine characteristics of men have a tendency to crush and hurt women when forced into competition. That is not an insult to women. If anything it is an insult to men. And it doesn't mean that a woman cannot debate or compete with a man in general.

Let me ask you a question. Would you suggest that men and women have not been created with distinct and unique characteristics? Equal... yet distinct?

Much like the church, when I consider all of the men and women in our fellowship, we are all given distinct gifts and abilities to use to build and help the body of Christ, the community of believers. Our gifts are equal, but they are not all the same. Some cannot sing in tune or play an instrument, so they do not lead our times of praise. That doesn't mean they are lesser parts of the body of Christ just because they aren't as "strong" in that particular area. Same is true with men and women. As I have seen in God's Word (perhaps you see it differently), He has created men and women to compliment one another and to fully proclaim his image in a marriage relationship. Therefore they must be different. They must have different strengths and abilities. One will be strong in one area in which the other is weak. And vice versa.

You have sent me nothing but one-sentence and three-sentence emails, so I really have no idea if you are interested in discussing this with me, or if you are just angry and picking a fight. As I said earlier, you do not know me from Adam, but you called me a misogynist and have developed an opinion of me based on ONE 55-minute teaching. Neither do I know you, but I have not called you a feminist based solely on your emails.

I urge you to listen to the rest of that series. Then, if you still feel compelled to rebuke me by the Scriptures and in the name of Christ, by all means do so. In fact, give me a call if you'd like. My cell phone is listed below.

Chris

Chris,

I specifically said that your sermon sounded like that of a Christian misogynist. What you said about women in the Proverbs had a very controlling misogynistic tone.

For example, how can you say men and women are different and then tell women not to what you call "gossip" about their husbands? Does talking about your husband to your mother, sister, or best friend automatically make you a gossip? Perhaps in excess but certainly not by just consulting someone in conversation over a matter. What you said sounded very manipulative and controlling. I agree, spouses need to speak to each other about their problems. However, I see no problem in a woman taking care of her needs, especially the needs a husband cannot provide. That is why fellowsip is so important among Christian women.

Perhaps it's because you are against the modern changes in gender roles? Do you really believe the changes in gender roles today are against the Scriptures? I went back to listen to the rest of sermons (4 of 4) on audio Mp3. Why do you "blame" men for the feminist movement? Do you think it was just a movement that happened as a direct result of too much violent male dominance? Has there not been violence and oppression against women in other civilizations? Further, why would you blame yourself for a good thing? The "feminism" of the society was an issue of equality. Do you feel that women should not have the same equal rights as men?

While I agree that over-blurring of sex roles (ones that are biologically based and not completely societal) are starting to cause an androgny that God did not intend, I do not see a problem with a husband seeing his wife as a partner and not a helper. Dominance is not equality. Would you say that because you write with your right hand that it is more important than your left? No. But what about the people who are left handed? Did God not make them left handed? Are they less functional because they happen to write with their left hand? That is the problem with strict gender roles. There are many people who do not fall into your either role distinctively.

I can see why men think woman are complimentary. For women as their "helpers" is quite favorable for them. We are however compliments of each other. The other "half" as we say. If you cut an apple in two pieces, do you normally cut it vertically? Or do you cut it horizontally?

"compliment"

an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially : an admiring remark b : formal and respectful recognition : HONOR

Does a man not compliment a woman he finds attractive?

"Adam" was an "earthing being" until the sexes were made. There was no such thing as a woman or a man! Do you think when God said  "It is not good for man to be alone" Genesis 2:18.. that He meant loneliness? Or perhaps God wanted "Adam" the sexless earthing to have reproductive capabilies? So the creation He made (humans) would be able to "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill and subdue the earth...Genesis 1:28?

I have not met you Chris, and I am sorry if I offended you personally by saying the sermon you preached was misogynistic, even if I still think it was.

Hope this is more than a few sentences for you.

Karen

Karen,

I appreciate your email. I also respect your opinion. There are a few things I'd like to respond to if you don't mind.

YOU SAID

For example, how can you say men and women are different and then tell women not to what you call "gossip" about their husbands? Does talking about your husband to your mother, sister, or best friend automatically make you a gossip? Perhaps in excess but certainly not by just consulting someone in conversation over a matter. What you said sounded very manipulative and controlling. I agree, spouses need to speak to each other about their problems. However, I see no problem in a woman taking care of her needs, especially the needs a husband cannot provide. That is why fellowsip is so important among Christian women.

Sin is sin. Gossip is sin clearly spoken of in scripture as such.  It is not just a problem with women ONLY, but Proverbs indicates that it can be a common problem among women. By the same token, I speak with men about the sin of lust much more than with women. Everything you said about women needing the fellowship and friendship of other women is, of course, true... and I completely agree. I would never suggest to anyone, man or woman, that he or she should not have friendships of accountability and people to speak with about their problems. But there is a line that can be crossed where it can easily become gossip if we are not disciplined with our tongues.

YOU SAID

Why do you "blame" men for the feminist movement? Do you think it was just a movement that happened as a direct result of too much violent male dominance? Has there not been violence and oppression against women in other civilizations? Further, why would you blame yourself for a good thing? The "feminism" of the society was an issue of equality. Do you feel that women should not have the same equal rights as men?

I blame men for much of it because it would not have been necessary if women were given proper EQUAL treatment to begin with. I'm not sure I would agree that all aspects of the "feminist movement" are a good thing. I believe many women have been tricked by feminism which supposedly 'freed" them from the tyranny of men only to realize they are trapped in this new paradigm to compete with men. As a result, men are being confronted with the 'new woman" who is told they must pursue status, wealth and power. Women have fought for a certain respect that now means they have to fend for themselves. As a result, men have learned that they are able to pursue and seduce these women with no apparent responsibility or consequence. Instead of women being cherished, men are free from any commitment to the woman because women need to be able to take care of themselves. Therefore, I do not see all aspects of feminism to be a good thing. Hopefully you will see by the end of this email, however, that I fully agree in the EQUALITY aspects.

YOU SAID

...I do not see a problem with a husband seeing his wife as a partner and not a helper. Dominance is not equality.

I agree, dominance is not equality. And I have never suggested "dominance" in anything I have said. My guess is that your interpretation of words like "headship" and "helper" is one of dominance (meaning you see them in a negative light). I do not see it that way. And I do not think God intended these words to be negative when He used them in His Word. I have no problem with a husband seeing his wife as a partner AND a helper. Especially if those are the roles God gave her. God exists in three parts... Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All are equal parts of the Trinity, yet play very distinct roles. It is interesting to me that the same word Jesus used to describe the Holy Spirit as "helper" is what is used by God to describe the wife of Adam. In the New Testament Paul continues this thread by exhorting husbands to imitate in their marriage Jesus' relationship to the church, his bride. If husbands are to treat wives like Jesus treats the church, and wives are to help their husbands like the Holy Spirit helps the church, then this is the most beautiful picture of equality you will ever see. Who would dare suggest that the Holy Spirit's role is "lesser" or "weaker" than the role of Jesus? Of course not. One is not "dominant" over the other. They are equally God, yet distinct in their roles.

YOU SAID

I can see why men think woman are complimentary. For women as their "helpers" is quite favorable for them. We are however compliments of each other.

Again, it is obvious your interpretation of "helper" is a negative one. Therefore you are assuming men interpret the complimentary relationship of "head" and "helper" as one of dominance and power. It just isn't so. Granted, there are some who unfortunately do interpret it this way. As a result, women revolt. And rightly so. But rather than continuing to react to bad teaching, I'd rather go back and try to see it properly, the way a loving God intended it to be seen. I don't suggest that I have perfect interpretation. But I do know that I don't interpret "complimentary" as a one-way street. I agree, we are compliments of each other.

"Complimentary" (IMO) means that men and women were both created in God's image and neither is better or worse. In God's design he created men and women to complement each other and as such created differing roles for men and women.

The tendency in many Christian circles today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the uniqueness of manhood and womanhood. Part of the reason is because of the abuse and failure men have had in their role. As I have already suggested, as men failed, feminism took over. When truth is abused, a rival position (in this case, feminism) that lacks logically compelling power can take on psychological compelling power. It is this reason so many people choose to believe in their viewpoint but do so based on feelings not on what is communicated in scripture. Certainly you would not suggest that all aspects of the feminist movement are rooted in scripture?

YOU SAID

"Adam" was an "earthing being" until the sexes were made. There was no such thing as a woman or a man! Do you think when God said  "It is not good for man to be alone" Genesis 2:18.. that He meant loneliness? Or perhaps God wanted "Adam" the sexless earthing to have reproductive capabilies? So the creation He made (humans) would be able to "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill and subdue the earth...Genesis 1:28?

This I will have to completely disagree with. I would like to see what Biblical hermeneutic you have used to try and suggest that Adam was not created as a man, but as some other earthly being with no sex characteristics. Even Paul says that "man was created first, then woman." No, I do not think that what God meant when he said "it is not good for man to be alone" was loneliness. Are you suggesting that the only reason God created woman (after creating the "sexless" Adam) was because he wanted him to have reproductive capabilities? That is not my understanding at all. I go back to the very nature in which God was creating man to begin with.

Are you married? If so, this passage should have great significance for you. Let me explain. When God said, "it is not good for man to be alone" perhaps it had to do with the whole nature and intention of how God created man in the first place. In Genesis 1:26 God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness..." The image of God is a community. We know Him as God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ), and God the Holy Spirit. He is ONE God, but exists in the plural... thus the phrase "our image."

So it wasn't good enough for man alone to bear the full image of God. God knew this. By ourselves we cannot reflect His image. He is every perfect characteristic of a man, and every perfect characteristic of a woman. So he put man to sleep, and created his partner... woman. Now, God says, when these two are joined together as "one" (like God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit), you now have a better picture and understanding of the image of God.

What is marriage? IMO, in it's purest form it is to be the IMAGE OF GOD. As you know, the scriptures are filled with specific instruction for husbands and wives, and we most often are told to look to the example of the relationship between Jesus and the church to better understand how our marriages are supposed to look. But at one point in the book of Ephesians chapter 5, Paul says this after discussing husband and wife roles in a marriage, "This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church." (verse 32). All along he been using marriage to illustrate Jesus' relationship to the church. He was saying that at any point in time and space a person ought to be able to look at a Christian marriage and SEE the GOSPEL. We are a walking, talking, living illustration of the great mystery of the Bible... the Gospel story... the story of God and His people.

So when a wedding ceremony takes place, there is really no greater human illustration for the work God has done through Jesus in His creation. I used to hate wedding ceremonies. I used to discourage couples from putting much into their wedding day ceremony. But now I have a different perspective. Now I understand that the wedding ceremony is perhaps the greatest opportunity for people to see Jesus, and to see what God has done for them. It's no wonder it was a week-long party in Jesus' day (he attended a wedding ceremony at the beginning of his ministry in John 2).

So what we celebrate together is something greater than a wedding of two people. Yes, it is that, and more. It is one more illustration of the love of God for humanity. The married couple is intended to be that illustration. Together, the biblically married coupleis the complete image of God.

Knowing that I interpret the marriage relationship this way, I am not sure how you can honestly believe that I view women in a lesser role than man. Different? Yes, in many ways. Also the same in many ways. But less equal? Of course not.

You have not offended me. I am not offended by people who find disagreement with me. I was a little taken back, perhaps, at the fact that a complete stranger had drawn a pretty serious conclusion about me. However, I am confident that if you lived near me and fellowshipped with us you would feel much differently. Relationship always has a way of helping you interpret a person's heart much easier. In fact, you might even be a little surprised to find that women have roles of leadership, teaching, etc... in our fellowship. There is nothing that a woman can't do.... except be a man. Likewise, the one thing that a man cannot do is be a woman. That's why they are so beautiful when they work together.

Your email has been stimulating. Feel free to pass along additional thoughts if you wish.

Chris

Chris,

What do you think man  (ad'uhm)  in our image, after our likeness... So God created man (ad'uhm) in his own image... means?

KJV - 26 And God said, Let us make man {Hebrew adam} in our image, after our likeness:... 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

NRSV - 26 Then God said, "Let us make humankind {Hebrew adam} in our image, according to our likeness;... " 27 So God created humankind {Hebrew adam} in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

NRSV - 6 but a stream would rise from the earth, and water the whole face of the ground 7 then the Lord God formed man {Hebrew adam} from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man {Hebrew adam} became a living being...

I find it interesting you have not replied to this statement. "...what about the people who are left handed? Did God not make them left handed? Are they less functional because they happen to write with their left hand? That is the problem with strict gender roles. There are many people who do not fall into your 'either role' distinctively?"

Karen

KAren

I'm not sure why you find that "interesting". Unless you are actively looking for things to indict me on. You had many questions, most of which I gave very lengthy explanations. To the question you asked below, I'm not exactly sure what that has to do with gender roles. I'm not understanding what you are trying to say. I do see that you continue to use the words "less functional" which continually indicates to me that you assume anyone who celebrates the "differences and distinctions" in gender roles must be looking at one as greater and the other as lesser. Of course a left-handed person is equally as gifted and functional as a right-handed person. That is a characteristic that helps make them uniquely who they are. Same is true for men and women. We both have characteristics that make us uniquely who we are.

I see that as GOOD. Not negative.

I was not dodging the question. I was just confused by it. The only thing I can figure out that you were trying to say is this... I have created a box for women (called right-handedness), but what about women who are born "left-handed"? The women who do not necessarily fit into the gender roles I have suggested God has given them.

If this is what you were saying, maybe you can give me some examples of what you are talking about that are specific to gender. Left-handedness and right-handedness are not gender-specific. But, for instance, some behaviors and emotions could be considered gender specific. Are you concerned that I have painted a broad-sweeping generalization and included all women in that, when some may not fit into it???

Please read this with all respect. I am not patronizing you. I am really trying to understand what you are thinking.

I think I see where you are coming from. I don't agree, but I see your point of view. I can respectfully agree to disagree.

Now, here is what I see in the Genesis account. In the description of the creation account in chapter 1 we find God's first word on the subject of men and women (verse 27)... they were both equally created in the image of God. Neither received more of the image of God than the other. So the Bible begins with the equality of the sexes. As persons, as human beings, as spiritual beings, standing before God, men and women are absolutely equal. I see a general description of the creation account, then a more specific one in chapter 2. This interpretation of Genesis 1 & 2 is consistent with the author's description of all the other pieces of God's creation. First he tells us when God created what he created in chapter 1. Then in chapter 2, verse 4 says, "This is the account of the heavens and the earth as they were created." Now he gets more specific.

Despite the complete equality, the more detailed account of the creation of the two humans written in Genesis 2 shows some differences in their God-given responsibilities (the gender-specific roles). God did not create the man and woman spontaneously at the same time, but rather He created Adam first and Eve later for the specific purpose of being a helper to Adam. Though Eve was Adam's equal, she was given a role to fulfill in submitting to him. While the word "helper" carries very positive connotations, even being used of God Himself as the "helper" of Israel (Deut. 33:7, Ps. 33:20), it is still taken as an offensive word by many who are proponents of the feminist movement. Obviously you, yourself, have taken offense at the word, seeing it to mean "lesser significance". If you refuse to see that even God himself used this word to describe his character and role, then I don't know what will appease you.

Karen, I want to say something pretty pointed here. But please hear my heart. It has become obvious to me that you have bought into the feminist movement hook, line, and sinker and have come out on the other side thinking that unless a man says "you are equal" in every way they are trying to control you, put you down, etc. You have not been able to see (or at least have been unwilling to see) that I am placing women in a more esteemed role than even you are!!! GOD certainly places women in a more esteemed role than the feminist movement does. It is very possible that I may have more respect for you as a woman than you have for yourself. Otherwise you would not feel compelled to pick a fight with a complete stranger on the internet who actually goes out of his way to explain how wonderful women are in their distinctive nature from men.

One more thing. In a previous email I asked if you were married. If you are, you will certainly understand what I am about to say.

There are traits my wife has that are distinctly feminine that I wish I had. But I don't. So I am glad I have her. Likewise, my wife recognized traits in me, things that are clearly masculine that she does not have, and she is glad she has me.

Why is that have to be a negative thing?

Chris

Chris,

I am sorry you feel that way. Did I not say that I saw no point in arguing with you about this?  I still view your comments as misogynistic.

Do you believe feminists are God's enemy? Perhaps it's some insecurity you have that makes you lash out at people with different points of views? I have gained so much freedom from my mother's generation and am very greatful and proud of their accomplishments thus far. Do you really know what feminism is? Have you looked into why they believe what they believe? Your responses show complete ignorance. I am not talking about radical feminists here.

Yes, you are right Chris I do take offense to the idea of a woman's role as a "helper". There is nothing honorable about having yourself controlled by someone else who is superior to you. Is a woman not her own person? What you say with the "helper" idea is that women were made by God for man and not for God. Why then should women pray to God? Shouldn't they not be praying to their man? Since he is the Christ of their life as you say?

And no, I am not married. I am in college.

Karen

Karen,

You have missed nearly everything I have said. I have had to repeat many of the same answers a number of times. Never have I "lashed" out at you because your point of view is different. I have actually done quite the opposite.

When you say you take offense at the use of the word "helper" you are not taking offense at me. You have told me much about your view of God. You are offended more by God than by me. Therefore I can no longer have this conversation with you because your issue is not primarily with me. I have been open-minded about your perspective. Openly telling you that I respectfully disagree. Your continually accusatory tone with me is evidence that you have become blinded by your convictions and have no ability to open your mind to something that could possibly be better. Which I do believe that my understanding of women is much better (FOR women's sake, not for my own) than the one you have chosen. You could poll any number of ladies in our fellowship who would undoubtedly agree. There is fear, combativeness, hardness, resistance, competitiveness, defensiveness, in your understanding. God did not create us to compete with one another. Women should not have to resort to that. I happen to believe he has much MORE for you. But as long as you refuse to trust Him and instead make your own way you will never experience that.

One thing I try to live by is the understanding that I have not arrived in anything, especially in doctrine and theology. I want to always remain teachable and open to new insights. But not ones that have to twist Scripture in such ways as you have in order to support a particular view.

I'm sorry, but this conversation appears to be over. You can have the last word if you'd like. But I will not respond. I will only pray. No, I will not be praying that you "see things my way". That has not been my goal in this conversation. As I said earlier, this has been a stimulating discussion. I do respect you. It isn't important that you agree with me or even believe that I respect you. But it is important for me to end this email by reminding you that I have spoken with you very respectfully and graciously.

Best wishes,

Chris

Well, that's where it ended. I know it was long, but if you have thoughts (especially you ladies) I'd love to see them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why Men Hate Going to Church

Yesterday I ordered this book and I am looking forward to reading it in preparation for our Oasis Men's Basic Training that will begin on October 2. The lack of men involved in fellowship across the United States has become sort of an epidemic that is easily seen in a variety of Christian circles. Campus Ministries have noticed it. Churches have noticed it. Small groups have noticed it. Youth groups have noticed it. Where are the men???

I have some suspicions. I'm looking forward to seeing if they are similar to what Mr. Murrow writes.

September 13, 1998

Seven years ago today I was sitting in DePaul Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri holding my firstborn son in my arms. We had gone to the hospital around 7:00AM on September 12, and around 20 hours later we were holding our new baby boy.

Of course, now at seven, he'd be embarrassed to read that I am referring to him as our "baby boy". He's definately all boy... and growing like crazy. He has no idea how many things he has taught me in his seven years of existence. Actually, he has been the conduit through which God has given me some very touching lessons.

Something weird happens to a man when he has a son. You change. You feel things you never felt before. You become acutely aware of your relationship to God the Father everytime something of significance happens with your own son. I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard the Holy Spirit whisper these words to me, "He reminds me of you." It all began when Brock was one-year old. He was crying and I couldn't help him. Everything I gave him wasn't good enough. It didn't satisfy him. So I just held him. I remember standing in his room beside his crib and holding him close to my chest. Finally, he stopped crying and just looked straight up at me. It must have been the way the streetlights were shining through his window or something, because when I looked at him I could literally see my whole face reflected in his eyes. In a moment, without words or anything, I was completely overwhelmed with love. And in that same moment God whispered these words in my heart, "That's what I see when I look at you. I see Me in your eyes."

I remember my first response to that thought was... "But I am so unfaithful to you. I whine and complain, and am never satisfied with what you do for me and with what you give me." And just one more glance down into my son's eyes reminded me, "But it doesn't change how I feel about you."

Still, seven years later, I have difficulty holding back tears whenever I kneel down beside his bed to pray, and kiss him on the forehead while he is sleeping. I can't explain it. You would think that all this mushy feely stuff would be unmanly and "un-macho". But I have come to understand that it's actually just the opposite. There is no better picture of a real man than one who is on his knees, with love-filled tears in his eyes as he prays for his son to grow into a strong, God-fearing man himself.

++++ Thank you, God, for entrusting April and me with Brock. I hope we will be faithful to helping Him fulfill the plans You have for him. ++++

Happy Birthday, Son. I love you.

Do You Hear It?

Well, the truth of the matter is that I should be studying for school.  This past week was my first week of full-time classes at Ohio University.  I quite my job at the law office for an up and coming career at My Favorite Muffin and Bagel Cafe.  I moved out of Chris and April's basement into an attic apartment on 8 Franklin in Athens and will live at most with 3 other girls. 

This whole process has been a divinely appointed experience.  All I have to do is go back to the fact that I have a desire to go to school at all.  I am not one to WANT to go to school.  So, when I had the desire I knew that it was from God and that he knows the plans He has for me and that I had better jump on it.  I was concerned at times about the money factor, but God has again been a provider.  Not only did I receive student loans, but I was able to secure additional money so that I could quit my job and move into an apartment in Athens.  He is also connecting me with several individuals to do contract work for them using skills that I learned at the law office. 

A post that I put on my blog a while ago was titled, "Where God's Finger Points, His Hand Leads the Way."  I have clung to this throughout the course of beginning school again.  I have been reminded over and over again that it is God's hand that directs my days and nights.  If only I listen and look. 

My hope in writing this, is for you to start asking yourself the following question:  AM I LIVING MY LIFE TO SATISFY MY EXPECTATIONS AND WANTS, OR AM I LIVING MY LIFE TO SATISFY THE DESIRES THAT GOD HAS INSTILLED IN ME AND ACCORDING TO HIS VOICE.

You may say that this is a "crossing-over" type of question.  That you are satisfying the desires that God has given you AND it is something that you want.  I agree.  There is a point at which the desires placed in your heart do become something that you want.  For this to happen for some, there needs to be a mental decision to want what God wants - even if it is not what you would have first chosen for yourself.  Why?  Because God knows what is best for you and he knows where you will be the next second, the next minute, the next hour, the next day, the next week, the next year, and the next decade. 

Here is the confusion of God's omnipotence and our lack of it.  If God knows how things are going to end up, then why does he ask me to do things when he knows I will not do them?  Do you get what I am saying here?  There are times that you know God is asking you to go back to school and get a degree or to speak with a person and tell him that God loves him.  You may have had a gut feeling that you need to stop over at so-and-so's house and spend some time with them.  You may do these things and you may not.  So - why does God ask you to do something when he knows that you will not?  So that you will get familiar with His voice.  There are certainly other answers, but this is the one that I wanted to write about.  And it is a very important matter. 

Have you ever read through the New Testament and comprehended that the apostles - after Jesus had acsended into heaven - heard the Spirit say something and they immediately did whatever it was that the Spirit was saying?  Does it ever strike you odd that they did not spend some time in prayer, ask others to pray, and spend time searching the scripture for hours trying to figure out exactly what the Lord was trying to tell them?  I have spent a good many years in comtemplation about this and have wanted to hear the voice of God and do immediately what he is telling me to do. 

I have also spent years trying to figure out what the voice of God sounds like.  I could spend a good two or three paragraphs describing instances, but I will spare you and get to the point.  Simply ask God to teach you what his voice sounds like so that you can obey.  If you ask, he will give.  It doesn't get much simpler than that. 

So - if you are wanting to deepen your relationship with Christ and begin an incredible journey like no other, ask Him to teach you what his voice sounds like and also ask Him to teach you to obey immediately.  You will not regret your obedience, because God is a good father and he asks you to do what He asks out of love.  His intentions are always good.  If the outcome it incredible for someone else, then the outcome is also incredible for you.  Why?  Because you have had a chance to interact with God in an intimate manner.  That is the purpose of your being - to have a relationship with Christ. 

Gut Check: Exploratory Thoughts on 1 John

1 John is one of those books that meets you in an alley, grabs you by the collar, smacks you around, and puts you back in touch with reality in a very direct fashion. It’s a book that boldly proclaims THIS IS WHO JESUS WAS, IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE!! And boy does that have some major implications for us. This book really asks us the questions, “Who are you? Do you abide in Jesus?” There is no cutesy fluff to this book. The words go right for the jugular. But why? It’s very apparent that John wanted to get a message across very clearly so he speaks in simple, no nonsense language to ensure that there is no doubt about his credibility or the validity of the authentic teachings of Jesus. John pleads with us to keep our finger hot and heavy on the pulse of the truth we find only in Jesus. In this way we will never be swayed by falsehood. I want to crack the lid on this amazing piece of scripture by musing on the first 4 verses of 1 John. First I would encourage you to stop reading this blog and read the first 4 verses of 1 John for yourself so you can better explore this scripture not only by my words but also by whatever God might lay on your heart from your personal study. Any such words that come to you please share them. Let’s dive right in.

“From the very first day, we were there, taking it all in-we heard it with our own ears, saw it with our own eyes, verified it with our own hands. The Word of Life appeared right before our eyes, we saw it happen! And now we’re telling you in most sober prose that what we witnessed was, incredibly, this: The infinite Life of God himself took shape before us.”

I love the narrative style of John for so many reasons. Take this first bit of 1 John that is quoted above as an example. John uses such dramatic language. It’s almost as if he brings the house lights down and puts a follow spot on the word. Yet what he’s saying here is more than just pretty words. If you’re familiar with the Gospel of John then the first sentence of this scripture hits you hard in the emotional soft spot. As I read that first sentence I get scriptural flashes in my mind of Jesus sitting around with his disciples telling stories, teaching fundamental lessons, sharing in love, sharing in life and a passion so intense that it literally tugs at every nerve in my body. Try to imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of Jesus in human form and then try to imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of Jesus in resurrected form. It’s almost more than the mind can assemble into in intelligible thought. Yet here we read testimony from a man who doesn’t have to use his imagination because he knew. John probably remembered what Jesus’ skin felt like, what his hair felt like, what he smelled like, how he slept, the sound of his voice, the way he listened, the way he smiled, the way he cried, the way he ate, what his favorite foods were, the way he looked at you and every other little personal nuance that you love about your best friend. As John wrote these lines I can’t help but wonder what may have been on his mind as he remembered his friend, Savior, and King. I think this is what John means when he says, “…we were there, taking it all in.” Imagine being able to close your eyes, breathe Jesus in deep, then open your eyes only to find his wide and captivating eyes staring right back at you. It literally sends a chill across my body to even consider the notion.

Now if that wasn’t enough to really get your blood stirring into a frenzy then the next bomb that John drops should just about make you fall over.

“The infinite Life of God himself took shape before us.”

Stop yourself for a brief moment to really drink that sentence in. Don’t just passively read over it. Stop, drop and roll on that sucker for a few minutes. Go ahead and get covered in that little piece of scripture. It’s difficult for the mind to comprehend. That small statement is literally gargantuan in its own truthful deliciousness. What a painter of words John truly is. He is a masterful architect of imagery. Yet the thing I love is that I don’t really think he was trying to be overtly fancy or mind catching. I believe he was simply being honest. That in and of itself makes this testimony all the more impacting. John and those like him were able to reach out and take hold of Jesus much like we would take hold of our own loved ones. Who would know Jesus better than these admittedly simple men?

“We saw it, we heard it, and now we’re telling you so you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy!”

Why do we tell people about Jesus? Is it because it is only our job? Is it only because we are commanded? Look at what God pours into our lives when we finally believe. I’m not talking about riches or looks. I’m talking about the Holy Spirit. There is no greater or more worthwhile gift. We have such an amazing opportunity to KNOW the Father. We have the opportunity to experience intimacy through the Holy Spirit. We have a chance to finally know what we were made to do. We are sitting on the choice to have the most incredible relationship of our lives. We do it, hopefully, not for gainfully selfish reasons but to simply exist in a life of communion and love with the Father who so desires our everything. It might sound like a great and almost unreasonable sacrifice to some. Yet to others it rings true as the only essence of life worth swimming in.

I have a Dream

I am not a political activist, nor do I normally get directly involved in "causes".  However, as I sit and watch all the media coverage of the disaster on the Gulf coast, I have to ask myself, "have we really made any progress in civil rights?"  As a young child in the early 1960's I remember those horrible images on television, of our black brothers and sisters being attacked by guard dogs and having water hoses turned on them.  We look at those images on old news footage and think, we have come a long way since then.  But have we??  When I look at the the poor citizens of New Orleans, who didn't have a way to evacuate the city, what do I see?  Perhaps not images of guard dogs, but something even more sinister. Apathy.  Why was the response of the federal government agencies so slow?  Why did it take 5 days to begin getting help to these citizens?  When a disaster hits another country, the USA is there within hours, not days, dropping supplies, and giving assistance.  I saw on one news report that help arrived from Cananda sooner than it did from our own country.  I have to ask myself.  If this disaster had happened in an affluent white neighborhood, say West Palm Beach, would people have been sitting on the roof of their million dollar homes, for nearly a week waiting for help.  I seriously doubt it.  Granted the storm was more than they expected, but give me a break, why the slow response?

I am reminded of the words of Jesus, when He said, "whatever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me."  Understanding that Christ was not referring to "the least of these" meaning that they were less important, but he was referring to their condition. The poor and down trodden.  Those who needed help. In essence, we have once again, spit in Jesus' face.

It really saddens me to think that our country is still as divided as it was years ago.  We are just more subtle, and we hide it better.  "God forgive me if I have been guilty of apathy."  "Help us to truly live by the creed that Abraham Lincoln stated in the Gettysburg address, that we are DEDICATED to the proposition that "ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL." "Please help your people to become united."

That is the name of our country after all. "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA"

The Barber and The Christian

As a rule, I tend to despise e-mail forwards. I’m not sure why exactly. I just know that more often than not they seem to eat up time while taking you absolutely nowhere. Some time ago Jamitha asked me, “Did you read the forward I sent you?” With a sigh I responded, “Honey you know I never read forwards.” She retorted, “I know that but if I send you something I make sure it’s something that would be worth your while to read. So please at least give them a chance from now on.” So needless to say I do open some forwards now but only from people that I know. As a result I’ve learned some things I didn’t know, some good jokes, and a few things I could have lived the rest of my without ever seeing or knowing. The contents of a very recent forward made me stop and go, “HUH!” I mean this in a good way. I’d like to relate to you the story of the Barber and the Christian.

On a particularly fine day a Christian strides into the local barbershop. The rather jovial Barber takes in his new customer with the customary glee. The Christian nestles himself into the big cushy barbers chair with obvious delight. Herein a conversation ensues between the Barber and the Christian. The topics that they cover range from everything between local news and world events.  As tends to be the nature of a well flowing conversation, the topics eventually turn towards a more personal nature. The Barber now discovers that the man sitting in his chair is in fact a Christian. This fact doesn’t rattle the Barber but he can’t stop himself from saying, “Well my friend, I respect every man’s views but I can’t say that I’ve ever been the kind of person who actually believes in God.” The Christian calmly asks, “Just out of curiosity, and I don’t mean to pry, but why is that exactly?”  The Barber calmly comes back, “Well I guess there’s just something in the language of the thing that’s never added up to my tastes. It seems like you’re always hearing all this about what a good loving God we have. But if that’s really the truth then why is the world in the state it’s in? What kind of loving God would just let his beloved creation turn itself inside out like that. It just seems like such a contradiction to me. I guess you could say I just don’t see the evidence to back up the “loving God theory” because it seems most of what I see during the course of a day is people who are sick, dying, and suffering. Where is God for those people? Where is his love then?” The Christian didn’t really know quite how to respond without turning the conversation down an ugly path so he simply glided, reluctantly, on to another topic. As the Barber finished his work on the Christian they exchanged pleasantries and wished each other well along their way. As the Christian walked out the door of the barbershop his eye was caught by a man across the street whose hair and beard were terribly unkempt. Then the Christian saw a woman whose hair was terribly frayed and in need of immediate maintenance. Then a thought swept over the Christian and he turned himself around to re-enter the barbershop. Upon seeing the Christian back in his shop so soon the Barber asked with a chuckle, “Did you forget something partner?” The Christian smiled and responded, “No but I had a thought that I wanted to share with you.” The Barber leaned in with mild interest and said, “Fire away buddy.” The Christian looked thoughtful for a brief moment and then said, “I’ve come to the conclusion that Barbers don’t exist.” The Barber chuckled out loud this time as he said through half astonished laughs, “Pal how can you say that. I just had you in my chair so you know that barber’s do in fact exist.” The Christian responded in a very level fashion, “That’s true. I was just in your chair. However I’m going to tell you why I believe barbers don’t exist. I just walked out of here and saw several people who were desperately in need of haircuts and beard trimmings. So obviously since those people are shabby then barber’s must not exist because if they did exist those people wouldn’t look that way.” The Barber pulled himself up tall as he prepared to deliver what he believed to be his very matter of fact response, “Well buddy the difference is that those people have to come to me so that I can help them. I can’t just go out there and do something for the unwilling. For one thing it wouldn’t be right and secondly people have a right to choose whether they want to come see me or not.” The Christian smiled very broadly but the Barber couldn’t figure out why. So the Barber asked, “What?”  The Christian took his time before jumping straight into his answer, “That’s how it is with God. Just because there is sickness and suffering in the world doesn’t illustrate any kind of proof that God doesn’t exist just like seeing people who need to go see a barber doesn’t prove that barber’s don’t exist. It’s just as you said. God believes that people should choose to come and see him because then they come in truth. People come to you because they acknowledge they need to get some things tidied up.  People are only acknowledging truth. God will never just force people to come to him just like you would never force those people out there to come into your shop. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t exist just because nobody believes in you. Some people just don’t realize how much good you could do them if they would just come to you. It’s much the same with God. People have to choose. But God is still real regardless of what they choose just like you are still real even if people refuse to come to you.” The Barber was quiet and the Christian saw that it was his cue to leave the other man to his thoughts. The Christian said goodbye. The Barber returned this pleasantry with a nod and wave. And with that the Barber was left alone in his shop to sit in one of his big cushy chairs and ponder. Out of the corner of his eye the Barber noticed a scruffy looking man walk by the window of his shop. The Barber thought to himself, “That fellow could really go for a stint in one of my chairs.” With the conclusion of that thought the scruffy looking man meandered on past the window of the barbershop without even so much as a glance inward. The Barber merely put his head down and smiled as he wound himself deeper into a thought he’d never before quite had.

I like this story for a few reasons. As Christians I fear that we will long be locked into a fray of answering to certain clichés. The one in this story is perhaps one of, if not the most, common questions and clichés about God. It’s what I call the “loving God” cliché. I’ve heard so many people rattle off things like, “Why would a loving God do….?” You can fill in the blank with just about anything. However, the principle involved will always come around to the same thing. That principle is simply God’s understanding versus our own. People are easily embittered but are often much harder to humble. I know that I can certainly point to myself and say that this statement has proved piercingly true on more than one occasion in my own life. I think my own personal reason for sinking into this particular kind of behavior was that I believed that my own reasoning and understanding of truth to be irrevocably rooted in good principles of logic. What it took me much longer to understand was that no amount of wisdom or knowledge that I could possibly muster would ever reign supreme over the combined mental capacity of God. After all, if you hold that God is real then I challenge you to name one human achievement that comes even remotely close to stacking up in grandeur to but one of God’s smallest achievements. I think it is important to remember that when we’re talking about God we must always remind ourselves that God’s understanding is far greater than our own. Contained within that statement is something very difficult. It means that sometimes we have to be willing to live without answers. For some that is simply unacceptable. Yet as Christians spiritually mature I think we more readily come to accept that God’s grace is more sufficient than any amount of answers we could ever ask for. This means we must not kid ourselves about what it means to live under grace rather than “fairness”. Yet another hard lesson but one, I feel, better saved for another post.